She never had any one true friend even at 12. She was fat & ugly without a doubt. When she got to 13, she said some things she didn’t know about. She thinks it will make her old friends come about. Thinking she was so cool then that she didn’t need her new friends. Her new friends got irritated with her behavior. They isolated her for her actions. She felt guilty but she did not say. For she have gone astray. But then…

She was given a new toy. A toy that was very shiny, she was filled with joy. She polished it everyday, now & then. She polished the toy all the time. When she was 14, she forgot about her toy. She left it in the lurch, for nature to destroy. She reasoned out with her actions, she then realized her toy was missing. She searched for the toy but it was broken. She tried to fix it, to glue it and sew it. But, it was too late then. Her toy had left to make new friends. She realized she has been treating it as a toy. For it was not a toy, it was a girl, who could have been her best friend. Her best friend for all.

The inevitable dream.

I had the most weirdest dream yesterday. It was so surreal. The dream which you're not supposed to have. The dream that you thought you'd never have. I must say, my dream made me giggle and cry when I woke up. It is a situation whereby you dream of 'liking' your boss. I don't mean the 'like' as in terms of work. Its a 'like' more than that. Its up to the certain extent that has over-shot the limitations of a work relationship. It felt so wrong but then again, its just a dream. Please do take note. This is just a dream. Here it goes.

In this dream,I actually have this offer to work elsewhere, playing in my mind over & over again. I was struggling to tell my boss, Daniel, about my situation. I got a colleague of mine to help. When he found out, my colleague told me that he was upset. He kept silent for 15 minutes. Then he came to me and we sat down to talkd.

Boss: "Siti, I heard you have a better job offer. Is that true?"

We made eye contact.

Me: "Yes... Daniel..." I started to tear.

Boss: "Are you willing to leave me?"

Me: "Why are you asking me this? I mean... This should be about work right?"

Boss: "Ya I was meaning that... Did you think.."

I cut his conversation.

Me: "No. I did not. The reason I'm leaving the school is the offer is good. I need the money it offers." My face went red. I looked down upon my green dress.

Me: "It'll be hard to leave the department. It'll be hard to leave a great boss like you. But I need to go. I have to."

Boss: "I understand. I'd really be glad if you could stay. It's sad to see you leave."

It took a lot of courage for me to look up again but as a sign of respect I looked up. Then I saw tears rolling down his eyes. I was shocked. i didn't know what to say to him. We just sat and looked at each other. My heart feeling heavy. Daniel was the best boss

In that dream, what I felt was someone asking me to stay. That does not come very often in my life although I shan't mention those who want me to but never I thought a boss, a friend, would be upset to actually see me leave.

I've always felt attached to things & even people. Not many realize that I treasure people a lot. Even though at times they get on my nerves & makes me want to beat the hell out of them but in the end, bottom line, I'll overlook this matter. Not only because I'm imperfect myself but also because in life, people matters. What you do to people matter. You can run and hide thinking it won't affect others but it will. You can try to avoid the problem but you don't know that its affecting others too. I'm to the point of no return.